How many of you have trouble standing up for yourself?
If you want to know the roots of this, thank your dear old mom and dear old dad. Thank your grandparents, because it’s all social conditioning. That’s all it is.
If you think about it, you were born a beautiful soul. You were born a creature of God, whichever way you want to look at it. You’re a beautiful person.
As you start to learn how to communicate, you either get shut down when you speak or you get embraced when you speak. You’re either heard or not heard, and that’s part of social conditioning.
You go to school and the same things happen. I remember one time I came home from school frustrated. My father didn’t want to hear from me and that was it. I remained frustrated in school for the remainder of my life.
Things will change, events happen, and your social conditioning becomes why a lot of you have trouble standing up for yourself. So here’s the way to change that.
First off, you’re never going to solve your relationship issues with your mom and dad and why you have this kind of social conditioning in the first place. You just have to accept it and move on. That story that you have needs to evaporate.
Standing up for yourself is a step-by-step process. I want you to make a list of all the people that you have unresolved issues with: your friends, your mom, your dad, your bosses, etc. And every single day, I want you to have a conversation with each one of those people. I want you to not only have a conversation with them, but I want you to resolve your issues with them.
So let’s say, Tuesday, you pick dad, Wednesday, you pick mom, Thursday you pick Uncle Bill, Friday you pick your girlfriend Mary. Each day, I want you to calmly, calmly have a conversation with them explaining how you feel and stand up for yourself.
It’s going to be a very challenging thing for you, but one thing you can do during this process is acknowledge that you’re not going to die. You’re going to end up standing up for yourself, and you’re going to avoid confrontation because you’re going to learn how to communicate.
And you’re going to realize that all the things you ever feared are just fallacies. They’re things from your childhood that no longer exist. Every day do something like that. And watch how all of a sudden you become the most eloquent version of yourself. Watch how you stand up for yourself.
So the next time something happens in a moment, you will stand up for yourself right away and you will avoid confrontation in the future because you will learn how to communicate in the present. That’s what it takes to stand up for yourself: avoiding confrontation and communicating in the present.